Why hello, culinary adventurer! Congratulations with your purchase of this book. Or, congratulations with looting it off the corpse of an overambitious monster chef! Inside this tome of tasty trivia you will find amazing recipes, carefully selected by us, The Mad Cooks of Hervik. All the delicious meals contained within this repository of relishes have, at some point in time, been served at our establishment. They are based on ingredients that are rare, explosive, dangerous to obtain, poisonous if used carelessly, or all of these at the same time. We do not encourage anyone to pursue the recipes listed her, and are not liable for loss of life, health or dimensionality that arises from treating this book as more than a curiosity.
If any of the recipes pique your interest, we instead recommend you make a reservation at Mad Cooks Expeditions & Fine Cuisine, Port Road 12, Hervik in Labar. If you would like to experience what it is like to gather ingredients for our kitchen, you can also book an expedition with us and join our certified hunters on an authentic recipe run!
Enjoy our meals!
If you follow this recipe, you can feed 1 hungry Uktarian. Depending on availability of ingredients, expect to spend about 10 Dragons to create it.
When we were asked to host a feast for a large group of warlords from Uktaria, who are notoriously hungry, we had to make a quick decision. How could we fill their legendary stomachs while meeting their expectation of exclusive cuisine? Fortunately, Travis had heard that Silimanis was being plagued by owlbears and that the Imperial Trading Company had promised a fine sum for anyone would could help them get rid of the creatures. This allowed us to not only send in our hunters, but also avoid paying them ourselves!
As the Empire paid a price per piece, our hunters returned with several carts of owlbears, inspiring Darynn to treat the Uktarians to an owl-you-can-eat ribs party. The next day, the Uktar-Labarean Trade Agreement was signed.
|3 kg owlbear ribs||Combine all sauce ingredients, excluding ribs & water. In the closed oven, combine ribs, 4 cups of water and 1.5 cup of the sauce. Heat rib mixture to boiling. Put ribs on grill, fire up with Silimanis hickory and cover the ribs. After 15 minutes, remove hickory and replace by ¼ red oak and ¾ apple. Heat and let simmer until ribs are tender, about 1 ½ to 2 hours, rearranging ribs occasionally. Burn hotter by adding oak and brush ribs with remaining sauce. Bake for 10 minutes; turn over. Brush again with sauce. Bake for 10 minutes longer. Serve.|
|5 cups of clear water|
|1 cup of Hilltower Red Sauce|
|½ cup of apple cider vinegar|
|100 grams of finely chopped onion|
|6 tablespoons of Dathyllian honey|
|4 tablespoons of Mad Cooks Black|
|2 tablespoons of lemon juice|
|2 small spoons dry mustard|
|2 small spoons sea salt|
|1 small spoon of atzu|
|½ small spoon of fireseed|
If you follow this recipe, you can feed 1 civilized elf . Depending on availability of ingredients, expect to spend about 5 Dragons to create it.
A traditional during the Day of Warmth that ends the Festival of Light, orctongue soup is a favorite among both wood elves and high elves. Despite its name, and disappointingly enough for many of our guests, the soup does not actually contain orc. The elves insist on calling it Fyllathysyke.
|Water||Never wash the orctongues, but brush them off and slice them thickly to avoid loss of aroma. Steam them for 40 minutes. Boil potatoes to a pulp and mix with marinated bear meat and soy sauce. Mix well and add water for soup consistency. Add the spirit and spices, peel the nuts and add them to the soup together with the orctongues.|
|Black bear meat|
|1 ounce dried Labarean seaweed|
|Potatoes (from Potthyr if available)|
|8 ounces orctongues, sliced and chopped|
|2 tablespoons dwarven spirit|
|1 tablespoons soy sauce|
|10-12 green nuts, peeled|
|Elven spices to taste|
If you follow this recipe, you can feed 1 human slave. Depending on availability of ingredients, expect to spend about 50 Eyes to create it.
Besides serving monsters, we sometimes adopt their cuisine to spice up a meal. This soup is popular among goblinoid creatures in the Zhai region and makes for a good accompanying dish if served with salad and salty bread or potatoes.
|250 grams of beef brisket, cut into small pieces||Peel the radish and cut the brisket into bite-size pieces. Slice the onions thinly, diagonally and mince the garlic. Slice the radish thinly into bite size pieces. Put the radish and water into a pot. Cover and bring it to a boil for about a fourth hour. Add the beef and garlic. Cook the half hour. Add fish sauce, salt, and chopped green onion. Cook another 5 minutes and remove from the heat.|
|250 grams of peeled Zhai Radish|
|2 green onions, sliced thinly diagonally|
|4 garlic cloves, minced|
|1 tablespoon of Hervik Fish Sauce|
|1 small spoon salt|
|7 cups spring water|
If you follow this recipe, you can sustain the neural metabolism of 1 mind flayer. Depending on availability of ingredients, expect to spend about 9 Eyes to create a portion.
Every time our hunters went out to fight their way through dark caverns, they would come upon several giant spiders. This had never boosted their appetite, until one day they took a pyromanic approach to clearing out the spiders and found the smell of crisped spider legs strangely appealing, once the fumes of burnt hair had worn off. It took some experimenting, but we managed to turn giant spider legs into a tasty snack. And, thanks to the wonderful legs-to-kill ratio that giant spiders provide, the snack is an affordable option for everyone!
|300 grams of spider leg||Thorougly shave the spider and wash the legs with dwarven spirit. Boil the potatoes until ready for baking. Mix the herbs to taste and firmly rub the mixture into the legs. Skewer the legs over a grill. In the meantime, mix oil, atzu, garlic and cornmeal and add the potato water to it. Cook the sauce to release flavor from the peppers. Bake the potatoes until goldenbrown. When the meat is well done, spoon the sauce over it and serve with the baked potatoes.|
|50 grams of toasted corn|
|500 grams of Potthyr potatoes, sliced|
|8 garlic cloves|
|6 hot peppers|
|1/2 cup of oil|
|1/2 cup of water|
|salt, atzu, cumin|